How do you love?
by stocky-parker-dog
Summary: Brianna reflects upon her feelings towards Drew, watching Drew and May in their ordinary situations. One sided Admireshipping and implied Contestshipping. I do NOT own the characters. Read and Enjoy please


_How do you love someone you can never have?_

I leaned on my palms, watching Drew argue with May. By arguing, I really meant that he was trying his best to flirt. He was awkward and didn't seem to know how to act with her otherwise.

I could only imagine how much his heart might really be fluttering in his chest.

I was waiting for May, meeting with her to share a milkshake together, but Drew had caught her eye and that had been it. They'd become involved in a world of their own it seemed. They didn't even seem to care they were just standing in the middle of the street as strangers walked by.

I wished I knew how to deal with the conflicting emotions inside my heart and head.

I loved Drew, so very much. However, Drew loved May so very much more.

My problem was I couldn't bring it inside of me to want anything else than to have Drew and May happy together. They were both dear to me.

May blushed and I smiled. I smiled because My really is dear and I can tell just from a distance that she does love him too.

My attention turned to Drew, watching as he tried desperately to hide his swelling feelings at her blush. My attention doesn't seem to be able to be pulled from him as I look out the window. I wonder if they'd ever notice my eyes on them.

The straw from my drink stabbed my cheek softly and I'm forced to look down and correct myself. By the time I look out the window again, Drew had left. The little bell on the café door softly chimed, announcing the arrival of a new patron.

May sat across from me. Her face was still notably red, even as she huffed and crossed her arms. "Stupid Drew."

I gave a small laugh. "You only think so because you were fighting."

Her blush deepened and she leaned forwards bashfully. "Did you see that?"

I nodded to her. "I saw all of it, May, you're blushing now."

May's face further reddened. "I'm not blushing."

I already know what's happening and I know what I needed to do. So I nudged her teasingly, playfully. "You should give up and date him already."

Her face turned even redder and I'm worried that she's going to burst. "N-no! Brianna! I came here to talk about contests, not Drew."

"But you're so red," I protested, "Besides, it would be cute. You guys already know each other well. How many years have you known him?"

"Five," May grumbled grudgingly.

I felt like ages ago that May introduced me to Drew and I was allowed to shake his hand. It felt like ages ago that I had a silly little crush on Drew and didn't know any better.

"See?" I asked, "It's not that bad. You like him right?"

May tapped her index fingers together and looked down bashfully.

"There's no harm asking," I said kindly.

I really hoped my voice didn't give away anything.

May looked up suddenly and huffed, apparently still upset about whatever Drew had previously said to her. "I'd rather set him up with someone else right now."

I looked at her, shocked. "Surely, you don't mean that May?"

"I do!" May paused for a moment to order a similar milkshake before she continues. "In fact, I'll even do it right now."

She tapped her phone. I leaned over the table, trying to read the messages upside-down. She was talking to Drew, I could tell by his icon. She typed in the message with surprising speed, asking if he'd like a blind date and even calling him a weeny to bait him into it.

I sigh and sunk back. I could only imagine how heartbroken Drew must be feeling. I knew he'd rather ask May on a date, but here she was setting him up. I felt sorry for the poori guy, though granted he didn't seem like he'd ask her soon. Perhaps I would have to talk to him sometime.

First, I needed to talk May out of this.

"May," I started to say, "don't you think this… Is a… Little…"

I couldn't continue.

May was looking at me expectantly, almost hopefully, pleadingly.

My hearts thumped. I was sure May could hear it because she perked and leaned forwards.

My voice was stuck in my throat. I knew what I should say. I should say no, but it becomes difficult to say two letters.

"Please?" May asked, "You're cute and fun."

When she said that, it made it harder with the way my heart throbbed. I took a deep breath. I needed to steel my nerve.

I opened my mouth to refuse when May cut me off with her sudden shout of delight.

"Drew says he'll go," May said, "If you don't, I suppose I'll have to pick someone else, but I told him he'd have fun with who I picked."

It felt like my heart was in my throat, because I meant to refuse but somehow the answer was filtered through into eager acceptance.

May looked excited as she messaged Drew with teasing hints.

What was I getting myself into?

* * *

I wanted to run and hide. I felt so sick that I might just curl up and die.

I was waiting for Drew o come and take me to the movies. It was such a typical date, and yet I was thrown into a flurry of emotions. The butterflies in my stomach felt like that were as big as my heart.

My head was spinning with the emotional whirlwind inside of me.

I dressed plainly, just my normal sort of clothes. I wasn't dressing to impress at all… But I couldn't help but apply the very slightest coat of scentless lip gloss to my lips to make them shimmer.

What did I even think I was doing here? May should've been here, not me.

When I spotted Drew's figure walking through the crowds, it felt like my heart might stop. It at least felt like it was crippled, struggling to keep up with the demand for blood throughout my entire body.

He was looking at his phone and occasionally looking up. I guessed he was asking May what his date was like and I could just imagine May giggling and dancing around the question.

I sighed and walked over to him. "Drew?"

"Oh, hey Brianna, what are you doing here?" Drew asked, barely taking his eyes off the screen.

I could tell by the frown on his face that May still hadn't told him and he was trying his best to get it out of her.

"Well, I'm your date today," I said.

Drew's thumb halted its movement. It took him a moment, but he stiffly looked over at me. "You are?"

I nodded, biting my lip. The thick sticky taste of gloss brushed my tongue, but I couldn't help myself.

"Oh," He said slowly, "Oh well I guess you're my date today."

He seemed awkward. I really wanted to call things off. I wanted to go home and bury myself in a pillow and cry for a while. Or at least sniffle.

Love was so hard and it seemed to sting so much.

I swallowed, hoping it would help delay the onset of powerful emotions. "Well, May asked nicely, so I couldn't turn her down."

"Oh is that why?" Drew gave a small chuckle. "Well, ok then. I guess we can have a friendly outing and make it worth it."

I couldn't speak, so I just gave a nod and took the hand he offered me as I walked into the movies with him.

Please Arceus, just let me make it through this.

* * *

Drew gave a sigh next to me. We'd decided to get some ice cream just to end on a closing note. However, despite Drew getting his most favourite strawberry ice cream, he didn't seem very much into it. It was quite surprising.

"What's wrong Drew?" I asked.

"I'm fine, Brianna," He protested.

I gave a laugh. "Come on, you can tell me."

He gave a groan and rested his head over on my shoulder.

My heart thudded.

"She's just so stubborn," Drew finally admitted after a moment of silence.

I couldn't help but flinch, even though I knew this was true.

He gave a small whine. "Is there something wrong with me?"

I stuttered to answer, wondering just how much I could say. "N-no of course not Drew! You're absolutely fine!"

"Is it the grassy hair?" Drew asked.

He pulled on a lock at the front with a glare like it was all to be blamed of the colour of his hair.

"Well I think your colour is rather charming," I replied honestly before I could stop myself.

"You think so?" He asked.

His face perked so innocently and I nodded.

He was showing me his more awkward side; the insecure part of him that he'd never dare to show May. Whatever did I do to earn that confidence in him?

I felt happy that Drew could trust me with his sensitive self.

"I guess she's just dense," I said eventually, "You might have to try to be more direct."

He gave a small smirk. "Heh, that's not really my style."

I was about to ask if his style really was just tossing roses and teasing smirks, but refrained… Because that very much WAS his style.

So I pat his head and tried to ignore it when a dollop of ice cream landed on my arm.

When would this be over? The feelings inside me tortured me.

"Hey Brianna, thanks," Drew said, "I'm sorry, must be awkward to say me like this."

"No," I replied, "It's no problem. I'm glad I could help."

* * *

I wanted Drew to be happy, more than anything. My ultimate dream come true would be if I was the one to do that.

However, that was not my place. May did that already.

I dropped my head into my pillow, not bothering to change after the so called date with Drew.

Ugh, my heart hurt so much. It felt so waited in my chest, like it hardly wanted to beat anymore.

I knew it wasn't my fault. I knew in my head, but the irrational part of me always seemed to win out.

Why did it have to hurt so much?

I clenched the edges of the pillow and gave a scream.

It was so hard!

Everything about me was just not what Drew liked.

Before I knew it, tears were soaking the material and I was sobbing wildly.

I loved him so much. I did. Even though I wanted Drew and May to be happy, I just loved Drew.

I loved him so much that it was hurting me.

What was I supposed to do?

All I COULD do was cry though and hope that somehow, something would ease the heavy weight.

* * *

I watched Drew and May argue. They were backstage of the concert.

I could barely even pay attention to what they were saying. I was so nervous for my turn to show my appeal.

"Brianna!" May screeched.

I looked up at my name and curiously glanced to May. "What is it?"

"Please tell Drew that my appeal was the most beautiful thing," May said, "He has the nerve to tell me my Beautifly wasn't at its best!"

"Well, May, I don't think it was," Drew said, flicking his hair.

I wondered if the flick of his was out of the nervousness he suppressed.

"I worked hard on that appeal and I think Beautifly did her best today!" May screeched at him.

I could only awkwardly smile, wondering if my opinion was even needed.

I watched as Drew held his hand behind his back to his faithful rosy companion.

A red rose was shoved up in May's face and she instantly calm.

"Is this the rose from your appeal?" May asked, slowly taking it.

"Something like that." Drew shoved his hands in his pockets. "I guess you can have it since you say you worked hard."

May blinked at it and held it to her nose.

I clenched my fists in anticipation. It would be a perfect opportunity to confess.

However, it seemed Drew backed out last minute as he turned. Only I saw the slightest of pink on his cheeks as he raised his hand in a goodbye.

"Wait, where are you going!?" May called, starting to follow, "The contest isn't over!"

"To the bathroom, May," Drew replied, "Unless you want to follow me in there."

May's face went so very red in that moment, I thought for sure steam would come out of her ears. "I DO NOT YOU OVERCONFIDENT GRASSHEAD!"

I sighed and settled back, waiting for my name again. I would suppose it would be a while before Drew actually went in for the confession.

My heart thudded in protest and I frowned at it for being so selfish.

May tilted her head down. "Something wrong Brianna?"

"Ahhhh, n-no!" I squeaked, "I'm just nervous!"

May offered a kind smile. "Just do your best! You've been working hard."

"Thanks May," I said.

"No worries Bri," She replied, "I'll be rooting for you. Make sure you make it to the finals with me."

I just offered a smile back and jumped up to get on stage when my name was called.

I would never tell May or Drew about how I felt. I didn't want either of them to feel guilty. SO I was going to just hold on it and continue.

With that resolve, I held my head up high and entered the spotlight on the stage.

 _How do you get over someone you love so much?_

* * *

 **Me: Woo! My first oneshot in what feels like forever!**

 **Brianna: I-I am surprised you picked me.**

 **Me: Well I actually really felt like doing something with Brianna and wanted to explore into the one sided feelings.**

 **Brianna: ...**

 **Me: Sorry Bri! You'll get a chance sometime. Aw man you make me feel bad. Where are May and Drew. They were in this story. They should be here.**

 **Brianna: Oh, they left as soon as it ended. Drew insulted her and she chased him out.**

 **Me: *sweatdrop* Of course... Well I hope everyone enjoys the story! A little different to my normal romance and fluff, but I really wanted to look into this side of the relationship where Brianna isn't over Drew yet.**


End file.
